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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24602746">Heartbroken, Not Heartless</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Java_Blythe_Peralta/pseuds/Java_Blythe_Peralta'>Java_Blythe_Peralta</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last Kingdom (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aelswith has had enough, Frustration, Introspection</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:07:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24602746</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Java_Blythe_Peralta/pseuds/Java_Blythe_Peralta</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Aelswith's thoughts after leaving Alfred and Uhtred in Season 3 Episode 9.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aelswith (The Last Kingdom) &amp; Uhtred of Bebbanburg, Aelswith (The Last Kingdom)/Alfred the Great, Uhtred of Bebbanburg &amp; Alfred the Great</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Heartbroken, Not Heartless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/soprano_buddy15/gifts">soprano_buddy15</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic was very interesting to write. Aelswith was one of the characters I hated most throughout the series, but after watching season 4 she became one of my favourites. I wanted to explore what was going on in her mind and why she was so horrible at times, and so I did. </p><p>This fic is for my wonderful friend soprano_buddy15 for encouraging (and ordering lol) me to write more Last Kingdom fics. </p><p>I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Aelswith, you will leave us.”</p><p>She turns, closing the door behind her with more vehemence than is necessary. She is tempted to lean against the door to her husband’s chambers as she leaves, to take strength from the firm surface, but that would be weakness. She straightens her spine instead, she cannot linger and listen to her husband speak to a traitor. She leaves him there with Uhtred, Uhtred the Dane, Uhtred the Godless.</p><p>How could Alfred keep doing this to her? No matter what atrocity or betrayal the Dane commits, be it pillaging in Cornwalum or murdering a priest, her husband forgives him. Alfred is a wise man and a great king, but Aelswith cannot understand him in this moment, in this choice. Execution had been promised to Uhtred more than once, and still Alfred protects his life once again. For what purpose? To have him control her son as he has controller her husband?</p><p>Her heart is breaking at this very moment, could Alfred not understand that? Could he not do something for her just this once instead of always for England? She was the dutiful wife, she had married the prince of Wessex willingly all those years ago. Her life had not been easy, it had not even been happy at first, but she had grown to love Alfred and had been blessed by God with two beautiful children. Yet each and every time her husband chose something above her. First God, which she did not begrudge him for, but then Wessex and a united England, and then and constantly ever since he had chosen Uhtred of Bebbanburg. </p><p>Aelswith forces her feet to move, continuing down the hall and back toward the wedding ceremony. Her mind far away and her anger overtaking her. How could Alfred even entertain that man? Even listen to or consider what he had to say? It wasn’t right for a God fearing Christian to rely so heavily on the service and council of a Dane, of a heathen. How could Alfred not see that? She had tried to be his council for so long but had been pushed away every time. </p><p>Alfred was a strong man, and he was well past boyhood when Uhtred had come into his service. Uhtred himself had been barely a man at that time, and yet he had wormed his way into Alfred’s mind in a way Aelswith could not comprehend. She wishes to scream in frustration, but that would not do. She is a queen, and in the middle of a palace, on her son’s wedding day no less. No that would not do. </p><p>Aelswith has been devoted to her king and her duty for so long. She has done everything in service of it. She has denied herself simple things just to please her husband and to show Wessex that she is a good and a just queen. She has broken apart her son and his love, she has married her daughter to a stupid, horrible man. She has done all of this and more to help her husband achieve his dream of a united and peaceful England. And yet no recognition has ever been shown to her, she is barely heard in council and her husband has chosen a Dane over her countless times. It is Uhtred of Bebbanburg who is spoken about and praised, not Aelswith Queen of Wessex. </p><p>A realization hits her as she is about to turn down the hallway and return to the feast. She is afraid. She is afraid of Alfred dying, of what is going to happen when the glue holding Wessex together is gone from this world. Alfred has forged alliances and made pacts and peaces with Danes and Saxons alike. Who is to say that will not all come crashing down in the days and weeks after his death? Aelswith loves her son dearly, but he is not his father. He lacks the years and knowledge to hold together such a complex world of allies and enemies. </p><p>Aelswith is afraid of what will befall Edward if he is led by Uhtred. Edward is barely a man, he made great steps in his actions at Beamfleot but he is far from a king. Without Alfred to guide him to greatness she fears a united England will never emerge. She is afraid for herself also. When Alfred is gone, so will nearly half of what she lives for. She is a woman in court, a court dominated and ruled by men. Her daughter may have gained influence, and Aelswith is not devoid of it, but no one will hesitate to overrule or dismiss her. Even Alfred, just moments ago, had ignored her warnings and told her to leave, as if she were no more than a servant girl. A glorified one yes, but someone to be merely pushed aside when unwanted. Loved indeed, she has lived her life to help those she loves. </p><p>Duty had brought her to Wessex, but love has given her life meaning and purpose. She had devoted her life to her God first, her husband and country second (for they were one in her mind), and her children third. Her choices may not always have been good, or kind, but she has done what is best for her family. Uhtred has come between her and her family time and time again. She has never been thanked, her tireless work for Wessex has never been acknowledged, and yet a Dane walks in and wins one battle and is never forgotten.  </p><p>What will happen when Alfred is truly gone? She cannot let all of his dreams and ambitions die with him. She must protect her son and her husband’s legacy. Uhtred Ragnarsson will not destroy everything she has given her life to build. He will not be the undoing of those she loves. </p><p>With that thought Aelswith makes her choice. Alfred has been blinded and mislead by Uhtred long enough, she cannot let it continue. She sweeps into the wedding feast and goes directly to Steapa and orders guards to be placed in the corridors. Alfred’s wishes or not, she will not let Uhtred of Bebbanburg escape, she will not let him continue to haunt her family. He has some sway over her husband, but must not over her son. She will make sure of it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you liked this fic, positive feedback is always appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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